Anne* has been at Porchlight’s supported accommodation in Dover for just over a year. At 45 she has had many years of battling sexual abuse, drug addiction and rough sleeping to get to where she is now. Anne hopes by telling her story that she is able to change people’s attitudes towards homelessness and reach people who need help.
“I was born into a normal family. I was the middle child and only girl. Being born in to an Italian family my dad thought family was everything. He even put me before my mum and two brothers.”
Unfortunately the normality of Anne’s childhood didn’t last long.
Sexual abuse
“The abuse started when I was young. Various family members abused me from 3 years old until I was 21. The thing with sexual abuse is that it is mental abuse as well.”
“My uncle abused me until I was nearly 8 when I plucked up the courage to tell my mum. Because it was family it was a big taboo and brushed under the carpet. They expected it to go away but for me it never has. I was abused by several members of my family after that but I never spoke out for fear I wouldn’t be believed.”
Anne doesn’t blame the abuse entirely for the path her life took but she recognises it did have a significant effect.
“My parents were really protective and I had little freedom so I got to about 14 and started rebelling, staying out late and drinking – doing what I wanted to do without anyone controlling me.”
At 17 Anne gave birth to her first child and returned to work soon after. She looks back on that time as being the most stable in her life but just a year later Anne met her husband who introduced her to drugs and her life took a downward turn that has taken nearly three decades to come back from.
First heroin injection at 18
“He gave me my first injection and from there it was downhill. The years that followed were a mixture of drugs, abuse and homelessness. I worked on the streets to pay for my habit. My life consisted of punter, hit, punter, hit, punter, hit.”
“I slept in stairwells and crack houses in London, sofa surfing and occasionally sleeping rough outside. I’d even slept in dustbin rooms and on cold floors in communal areas of tower blocks. This lasted for five years. It is a dangerous situation to be in. On one occasion I was attacked with a machete and I had to jump out of a window to escape.”
Between the ages of 22 and 32 Anne had four more children.
“Every time I became pregnant I came off the drugs. I was in hospital throughout my pregnancies because of the all the abuse I had suffered earlier in my life.”
“I could stay off the drugs when I was in hospital but then something would entice me back. The people I associated with were from that world.”
Not ready for help
“The times when I was offered help it felt like I was being forced by Social Services because of my children. It didn’t work because I wasn’t ready to stop…or ready to be a mother.”
Then, aged 35, Anne suffered a shocking tragedy that left her unable to cope.
Tragic losses
“My husband hung himself. It was a trigger that sent me further off the rails. I only recognise them as triggers now because at the time I was too involved in the world of drinking and drugs, too busy feeling sorry for myself and the other people who had suffered like my kids who had lost their father and were on the verge of losing their mother.”
“My mum and dad had to look after my kids. They didn’t disown me but I wasn’t allowed to stay with them. It wasn’t fair on my children. They would only see me when I needed money for drugs.”
Again 6 years later Anne lost another important figure in her life.
“In 2006 my dad died and this again lead me into a downward spiral of drink and drugs. My dad left the house to my two brothers and myself. I didn’t want my share, which would have been around £100,000, because I knew it would have killed me. We all signed the house over to my mum and she took the opportunity to move to Kent.”
“She said that if I had done that for her then I could live with her and my youngest son. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay with my mum cause my brother lived there and he was one of my abusers. My mum couldn’t choose between brother and myself so I was made homeless.”
Rough sleeping
“I ended up on the streets on the Isle of Sheppey. This was the first time I really considered myself to be homeless.”
Rough sleeping and having nowhere to turn was a wake up call that lead Anne to get support from a drug addiction agency and start a programme of methadone.
Eventually getting the right help with Porchlight
The agency put Anne in touch with Porchlight. Early in 2008 she went for an interview the charity’s supported accommodation in Dover. Two days later she was given a room.
“Over a year on I know it has saved my life. If I was still out there I would be erratically using drugs or dead.”
“It’s not just about having a roof over my head. The support workers channel you in to other support that can help. For instance I have been on an alcohol detox programme.”
“I also have a different relationship with my mum these days. She is totally different with me now because she has seen how I am turning my life around.”
Despite finally getting the help she needed Anne has recently had a further set back, but this time she is stronger person and it has made her more determined to succeed.
Another set back but a stronger person
“I found out that I have HIV. But I know I wouldn’t have found out at all if I wasn’t in supported accommodation and getting support to attend GP appointments. The staff have been there for me. If it’s 3 O’clock in the morning and I’m crying and want to talk I know someone will be there for me.”
“People say that once you get HIV your life is over, but I know it’s not. I have been through worse things.”
“It has knocked me back but I want to get my life back on track. I want to get my own place, an education, to be settled and to get my kids back.”
Through education I want to get into support work. I feel I have a lot to give to people that have been in the same situation as me.”
*This story is genuine but the name has been changed to protect individual’s identity.
