"I couldn't have done it alone" - Eve's story

Eve was building a life rooted in creativity when her father became seriously ill.

Her work as an artist, running her own pet portrait business, and as a musician was put on hold as she moved back home to Spain to care for him.

She recalls: “It was a hard time, but I remember the nurses and doctors saying to me, ‘Why don’t you try care work? You’ve got the nature for it.’ I thought I was too old to change direction, but something stuck with me, and I decided to give it a try.”

Caring for others came naturally to Eve. Caring for herself, however, was a different story, and before long, she found herself drinking heavily, homeless and alone.

Eve’s long-term relationship had been deteriorating over a five-year period. She describes it as emotionally unbalanced, which caused her to turn to alcohol more frequently.

“I’ve always been very self-aware,” she says. “You choose the first drink, that part is conscious, but after that, it can quickly become out of control. For me, it was about self-medicating anxiety and coping with unresolved problems.”

There were periods where things stabilised. But when the relationship deteriorated, Eve would relapse. Each time, the consequences were more severe.

“One night, at midnight, I packed a bag and walked out. I just thought, I can’t tolerate this anymore,” she said.

With nowhere to go, Eve began moving from hotel to hotel across Kent. She didn’t stay with friends, even when offers were made.

“I wasn’t in a good state, I felt like I’d be invading someone’s home,” she recalled. “I kept telling myself, I’ll sort it out tomorrow. But tomorrow never came.”

Her savings disappeared quickly. She wasn’t eating. She wasn’t working. All her energy went into finding the next hotel room and finding alcohol.

Eve said: “There was no plan. When you’re under the influence of something like that, planning doesn’t exist. It was a dead end. It always ends the same way.”

Last year is mostly a blur.

Eve was admitted to hospital repeatedly due to severe withdrawals. Discharged, she would drink again within hours. The cycle restarted almost immediately.

“It was like being on a hamster wheel. There’s a huge void in my memory; whole stretches of time are just gone.”

Withdrawal was terrifying.

“Your heart is racing. The tremors are so severe you can’t hold a drink. I couldn’t walk properly at one point. I genuinely thought I was going to have a seizure. I thought, I’m going to die here.”

When asked by mental health professionals whether she was suicidal, Eve was clear.

“I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t want to feel like that anymore. It’s unbearable to exist in your own body like that.”

During this time, she was highly vulnerable, getting taxis in the middle of the night to petrol stations to buy alcohol and unable to remember which hotel she was staying in.

She said: “I wasn’t just struggling. I was completely incapacitated. I couldn’t even take myself out to buy food.”

The turning point came when Porchlight’s services became involved. Through the Rapid Rehousing pathway, the Forward Trust drug and alcohol service, funded by Porchlight, stepped in.

Staff had to wait until Eve was well enough to engage, but once properly detoxed, she was open to help.

“They would visit me first thing in the morning. That broke the cycle. There were people working together just to keep me safe. That meant the world.”

At one stage, staff had to track her down because she couldn’t remember which hotel she had checked into.

“They not only helped with practical things like housing and appointments, but emotionally too. I’d lost my partner and both my parents in a relatively short space of time. I felt like I had no one.”

For Eve, the support network was life-changing.

“I couldn’t have done it alone. I wasn’t capable of doing anything for myself at that point.”

Eve spent three months in temporary accommodation before moving into a council house share.

“Sharing a house again at 43 felt like a step backwards at first,” she said. “But now I’m looking at it as a fresh start.”

Remarkably, she was also able to return to her job as a wellness coordinator in a care home.

“I rang my boss from hospital and told them the truth; that I’d been drinking because of a mental health crisis. I spent weeks crossing my fingers they’d take me back.”

They did.

“All I wanted to do was work. I love supporting vulnerable people. Sometimes just sitting and having a conversation can be the highlight of someone’s day. That’s really special.”

Eve continues to take life one day at a time.

“I can’t say I’ll never drink again. I don’t make promises like that anymore. It’s about small steps. At the moment, I feel like I’m living a simplified version of the life I want. It feels transitional but hopeful.”

For Eve, Porchlight was more than a service.

Porchlight’s Hospital Homeless Health Coordinator, Lorraine said: “It’s a support network. There are so many elements Eve would have struggled to sort out on her own. Some people have nobody. If something goes wrong for them, it can be life or death. That’s what I love about my job, that so many people work together to help.

“But Eve had to do the hard work and trust us.”

Today, Eve is safe, housed and working, and learning how to manage her wellbeing with the right support around her. She is rebuilding, day by day.